sorry sorry sucker?

People say you're supposed to 'forgive and forget'. They say this as if both forgiving and forgetting are one in the same. But they're not. I don't forget much. And I definitely don't forget things that created such an impact on my life, that I had to forgive someone to move forward. Those people who talk about forgiving and forgetting are probably the ones that have done something wrong.

There have been instances in my life where forgiving wasn't really an option. When someone has done something and then left. They left with no implication that forgiveness was to be sought out. And often times turn right back around to do it again. Because sometimes people do things that hurt us and they don't know they have. Or they do things to hurt us and they simply don't care. Or they don't care enough. So then are we to forgive someone that isn't even sorry?

The trick is knowing that one day down the road they will be sorry. They might not feel sorry but they will be sorry. They might not apologize, they may not see any more clearly the error of their ways but they will reach a time where they will not understand who they are. Usually, by the time they've reached this point in their lives, an apology seems unnecessary. An apology seems like an insult. So the ones hurt are left without releasing forgiveness. And both are only reminded that they haven't forgotten.

It doesn't make you a bad person if you can't forget the past. What it makes you is a person that is living with someone else's regret. Whether you've been in the position yourself and you've done something that you can't take back or you're the person that couldn't swallow your pride, maybe you've been there on the opposite end. Maybe you've wanted to say you were sorry to someone but knew an apology wouldn't erase the hurt that occurred. Two words don't undo a broken heart.

So maybe by forgiving and forgetting we aren't supposed to forget the past, what's happened. What we've done, what's been done to us. Maybe we're supposed to forget the power of another person's actions over us and forgive that we are not perfect. No one is perfect. And for those moments that scar us, it's right there, how can we forget? One is a reaction and one is an action and it's anyone's guess as to which one is which...