Thursday, December 17, 2009

Year in Review

So 2009 is now two weeks away from being over and what a year it's been. Every year about this time, I think I say the same thing...can't wait to see it go! 2009 was rough, there were fun times and exciting experiences, but ever the optimist, I feel the best is yet to come...

It seems as it was just yesterday that I was buying my friend shots to try to make her throw up on her birthday. A Three Wiseman shot, which I had the waitress bring out in, well, three separate shots. Whoops. Happy Birthday!

Nothing remarkable happened in February. Oh, Valentine's Day. This year's V-day was interesting to say the least. I went from annoyed to mellow to happy to angry and back to annoyed all in a 24-hour span.

Roooaddd Triiippp! FSB 2009 to Dallas! Took a week off from work, to drink, travel, play and basically NOT WORK! Just like the good ol' days.

April, April, what happened in April???

Cinco de Mayo, always a great time. Then there was DT karaoke with Multiple Scorgasms which led me to singing like there was no tomorrow, air kissing everyone I saw and ending up passed out on the bathroom floor. Luckily, it was my bathroom floor. Good times.

Summer didn't really feel like summer. Didn't spend near as much time at the pool as I'm used to. Just as soon as it begun, it seemed like it was over.

Then there came August and the fight of the century at a place that will remain unnamed only because I don't want to shout them out in any way! The party didn't start 'til we got there and it didn't end 'til we left. Enjoy anger management.

September, the best month ever. I turned a remarkable 28 and couldn't remember at first how old I was turning. I would forever like to be 25 but now being 28, I almost would rather be 30.

Then the holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving and soon to be Christmas and it seems like it's all come at a rush at the end. Actually, my life feels like a rush right now. A good rush. I got to say good-bye to some bad habits. I've been introduced to some new opportunities. No matter what drama has broken me down over the past year (and there was a lot) as I slide out of 2009 into 2010, I can honestly say that I'm back on top!

And it feels good...






Thursday, December 3, 2009

if i were a boy

I love boys. For so many reasons of course, but maybe for their sheer fearlessness. Fearlessness that could be defined on a different day as idiocy. I always admire a guy who bites the bullet to ask a girl out...unless that girl is me. Because when it happens to me, I don't really realize it's happening until after the fact. By then it's too late to make up an excuse they will believe, so usually I just blurt out, 'I have a boyfriend' or I just smile while saying no and slowly back away. Really, I shouldn't care that much about their feelings, because I'm no fool. As soon as the word 'no' is out of my mouth, they're already on to the next one. Boys are resilient like that. Another reason why I adore them.

Ahhh, if I were a boy...

If I were a boy, I would think of the most nonsensical ways to ask someone out. Nah, I'd make a really bad boy. But as a girl, maybe I should run an experiment and see just what kind of lines, tactics, techniques that guys will fall for. The same lines, tactics, techniques that guys think that we girls will fall for.

Case in point: guy at Jiffy Lube asked what I did for fun. To be nice, I started listing things. Then he asked if I invited people over. Like to my house? Umm...sure. Then he asked if he could be one of those people. Really?! Really, really you're asking that? I politely said my boyfriend would not like that and he without flinching said that maybe we can exchange numbers as friends since he didn't know anyone from around here. For a second, I began to empathize and I asked him where he was from. And he said...

KCK.

You're not from around here? Dude, you're like a twenty minute drive. We're in the same area code.

Then tonight, I'm eating dinner with my friend. I'm showing her pictures on my camera when here comes sailing a sugar packet on our table. I look up to the guy in the next booth and he said, 'Hi' and I said, 'hi' and he said there was a fashion show on Saturday downtown, did me and my friend want to go with him and his friend.

No.

However, the no didn't come out so fast. Again, I felt the urge to be polite and decline nicely but luckily my engaged friend informed sugar thrower that she was indeed, engaged, while I just stared at him, mouthing the word 'no'.

So the experiment is twofold: 1) Try to decline invitations I do not want quickly and worry about politeness after the fact. I don't have to be rude but I don't have to be chatty. 2) Throw sugar packets at boys, hit on them at the gas station, grocery store line and anywhere else I feel like striking up a random conversation not caring whether they do or do not have a girlfriend. Whether they do or do not want to talk to me.

I am going to be a boy. I am a boy.

I'm gonna be a really bad at this. But it's not like they're much better.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

hope it was good for you

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, so the saying goes. You smack me, I smack you. Is that how it goes? Usually, I leave it up to the hormone-driven males to go ballistic and start fights and we girls are left running our mouths and giving evil glares. But there are those girls out there that just can't hold their temper. Maybe I am one of them, but I think the trick is holding it just a second longer then the person that decides to take it to the next level and want to fight.

I've never hit anyone, but can't say I never would. But I do think twice. The reason being is that this isn't high school. I don't live in small town America anymore, where the cops all know us by name and yell at us to go home when we're out past our curfew. I live in green grass, suburban living where the cops show up and want to know what's been done and who's done it. And if that person is you, then you're going to have to pay.

On one hand, it does seem kind of silly. A person who's been violated should be able to do so back. No one else should be involved, not even the police. That's just not how it works. And the thing is, everyone knows that. They may not like it, but they know it. Maybe holding on that one second longer makes the 'hit' without hitting hurt that much more. Only God can judge, that's what we're told and that's what I believe. But I also believe in first impressions and definitely will form an opinion on people who reek ugly. And if you're the kind of person that without thinking, without being instigated to do so, results in unnecessary roughness then you just sealed your own fate. Because everyone knows, God does not like ugly.

So in the end, is it worth it? Maybe some fights are. Maybe someone makes you so mad, ran their mouths too much, that a smack to the face is worth all that follows, which includes the knowledge had you used your head for just a second and not been the first person to flinch, you might've been walking on the other side.

But once you set anger and frustration into motion, at times you might just wish that other person would've just grabbed you back, call it even and walk away. But if that other person sidesteps you, that just means you're still in motion and you don't have much control over when it will stop, if it stops at all.

Monday, November 16, 2009

i hate winter

I hate winter. The only reason I tolerate it is because I can do marathon eating at Thanksgiving and I get to Martha Stewart it up during Christmas season. Other than that, I hate it. I hate the cold and ice and dark. I hate that I have to wear a coat and gloves and my hair becomes static-y. I don't know if I've always been like this or as I get older my body rejects extreme temperatures. I can't wait until California. When cold is fifty degrees.

I hibernate in the winter. I hibernate and cook. Maybe I am part bear? I stay in and bake and clean and take multiple naps on the weekend just waiting for the sun to come out. Just waiting for the weather to feel hopeful rather than dismal. It's a good time to get things done, I guess. I just got back from vacation in New Orleans, where the weather was absolutely perfect and I couldn't imagine getting anything done but being outside, enjoying life. At least with depressing winter, I have to try harder to find entertainment. I can cross things off my 'to do' list. Clean out closet. Check. Read old magazines and recycle. Check. Bake three dozen cookies. Check.

After awhile, it's enough to drive a person crazy. Even for a person like me, who at times, actually prefers being alone. I feel serious in winter. I feel like the cold is a slap in the face telling me that now is the time to get all the shit done that I put off all summer. And to be honest, it's not far from the truth. There's no room for responsibility when I'm laying by the pool, when there's more light in the day making it impossible for me to want to go home. It's the opposite in winter, I always want to be home.

So maybe it's a good time to make a list and cross things off. I've already made a list of things I need to buy for Thanksgiving, i.e. things I want to eat. I need a list of things I want to accomplish, places I want to see, people I want to meet. And then, when the sun comes out again, when the winter coat is stored away, I can work on crossing them off. Of course, all the things I want to do are things that can't be done in winter. Things are twice as desirable when you can't have them.

It's about a month and a half away from 2010. And, boy is my list gonna be long by then. I guess I should embrace winter and it's insistence on keeping me indoors, because 2010 is gonna be year of follow though, busy and exciting and might just make me yearn for one winter day when life wasn't moving quite so fast...

Sunday, November 1, 2009

decisions, decisions

Today, I boo'd a bride-to-be. I convinced a David's Bridal employee to give me an additional $50 coupon in secret and I spit out someone's wedding cake sample. This all tells me one thing: it's probably best that I am not the one getting married.

I had never been to a bridal convention until today. A couple hundred vendors all telling you what cake, dress, and honeymoon vacation is best for you. And all I kept thinking as my friend and I were walking past the booths was, I don't need any of this. Of course, you need information on pricing. And you need to know who's going to bake the cake, alter the dress but you don't need someone to tell you the way to go. Just like love, you either have no idea what you want and go looking for it, hoping you'll get an idea or you decide for yourself what you want and then take the necessary steps to make it work.

The girl I boo'd had just won a free wedding dress. The emcee called her name repeatedly before people started pointing to her and saying that she had won. She just sat there, arms folded and did not say a word. Finally, she said she didn't want to get on the stage. You don't want to get on the stage?! Let me get this straight, you filled out a form with your name on it. Your name, out of hundreds, was called because you won a prize and you can't march your slipper wearing brat ass up to the stage? And you're going to get married? Are you getting married in a cave with no one else around, because spoiler alert! people will be at your wedding! Hence, they will SEE you.

After my boo'ing, I couldn't help but appreciate that I was at a bridal convention because one of my best friends is getting married. And she is definitely not a brat. She would happily accept a free dress and she did not throw me a look of scorn as I (admittedly brat-ish myself) boo'd a fellow future bride. Had I been with anyone else, I don't think it would've been as much fun. I think the girl and the bad cake and the overwhelming feeling of information overload would've broken me down. But all I could feel was excitement for my friend. All I could think was that I could actually talk for hours about her wedding planning and truly enjoy it. Maybe the bridal convention is a rite of passage, a test of patience and endurance. An eye-opener that lets you see all you ever wanted is right within reach.

Because after all the craziness, the choices, the planning, you get to see that despite what anyone thinks, does or tells you to do, in the moments of a wedding, the moments that truly matter, you realize there were only ever two decisions needed.

His decision to ask. Her decision to say 'yes'.