Are We Still Talking About This?

Can men and women really be friends? Ah, the ever annoying, go-to question that seems to pop up in conversations around the country. The constant debate charges on and everyone has a different idea, different perspective of this timeless topic. Perhaps the question is situational and can only be applied on an individual basis. Perhaps it's a rhetorical question and the best part is not coming up with an answer, but rather debating arguments for both sides. However, the point that is being missed, the real question should be, 'Does it even matter?'

Does it matter if men and women can't be friends only? Does that mean that there is something wrong with either party? The truth of the matter is that if you spend time with someone, anyone on a long term basis it's for a reason. The reason being that you choose it to be that way. No one is forcing you. That's the beauty of friendships, even ones that may cross the line into a relationship. Say that Harry seeks Sally for a friends with benefits situation only or vice-versa, is this so wrong that we have to place a high pressure on the both of them to define the situation? Annoyingly enough, a male-female platonic relationship doesn't have to be definable until it does. Huh, you say? If the issue is never brought up and both are ok with just being friends, just being friends with benefits, just being friends in romantic denial, then what is there to worry about? Why define it when you can just enjoy it?

The trouble comes when there is analyzation of the future and the questions arise. Questions such as: What if I start dating someone? What if he/she starts dating someone? What if I like him/her and he/she doesn't like me back? The friendship from that point on is doomed. Carefree days of friendly drinks and catching a movie are long gone as we search for 'signs' that usually are not there or that we've made up. We see what we want to see and avoid what we don't. It's a tricky mess that can either float along on a cloud of self-denial, move into a relationship that is far better than any platonic feelings, or remain in the same stage forever. The latter is hardly ever true, because feelings change. I am not being pessimistic. I am being honest.

Now I know you're saying at this very moment, but I do have a guy/girl that I am just friends with. No, ya don't. You only think you do. Just as Harry pointed out to Sally in the movie. Because either you and this person are not very good friends, meaning you see each other maybe twice a year if that and randomly email updates to each other, he/she likes you or you like him/her. And, why wouldn't we want to turn something platonic into something romantic? Because it might hinder the friendship? I think the chance of romance might trump the friends only stage. But that's just me.

So, it doesn't matter if men and women can't be friends. It's great if they can. It is something that should be viewed individually because if you find yourself amid a conversation that has even posed this question, it means that there is a friendship that is bordering the line of relationship. It might be yours. And, really is that such a bad thing?