quit running from what's not chasing you

'Some things we don't talk about, rather do without and just hold and smile...' -The Fray

Pride is a two-faced bitch. On one hand, it's an amazing quality to have. To help us celebrate something we've accomplished. To make us work hard. To have us put our best foot forward. To stand tall and fight through difficulties. But pride will also keep you from doing the right thing. It will convince you to rationalize the wrong thing. Pride keeps us from saying things we need to and makes us say things we don't mean. Because we don't want to get hurt. We don't want to be the first to give in. If we're going to lose it all, we might as well have our pride, right?

Why is it so easy to hurt someone, but an apology is something we have to 'think about'? Should the words 'I'm sorry' be changed into 'Let's get over it'? Sometimes that's how it feels. And sometimes that's exactly what needs to happen. But why is it so hard to to take the first step? Why is it so hard to tell someone we love them? Why of all the things we could say, do we just choose to ignore it? The problem with a problem is that it doesn't go away because we say it's over. It just sits inside of us waiting to come out. And maybe it won't come out to the person we have a problem with. Maybe it won't even come out anytime soon, but down the road when you least expect it, that what we have tried to hide away finds its way to the surface. And how are you supposed to hide from yourself?

There is really so much more that we can be doing with our lives. At the end of the day, if we let it, pride leaves us lonely. Pride pushes people away and lets issues go unresolved. And those issues just get pushed onto the next person and the next. It convinces us to believe that all the people who we push away, chose to leave us. It makes us believe that all the people that wanted to help us, really were trying to avoid handing problems of their own. It makes us believe lies, because knowing that someone might find us out is so much scarier than the truth.

The truth being that sometimes we are wrong. Sometimes we've done something so horrible, that apologizing won't make up for it. And even if we did, how do we find the right words? We aren't above trying. Again. And again.The truth is that we aren't above being loved. We aren't above letting people love us. But to some people, pride is better than the truth. It's worth going into a situation knowing that when you come out, you had the last word. That you held up and didn't cry, didn't flinch, brushed your shoulders off and moved on. That you were the one that could walk away from something, could do without. It definitely can help us from getting hurt. It's just not as reliable at knowing how to help us back up. So even though we should walk around with our heads held high, holding it too high, sooner or later you're gonna miss a step, trip and fall and no one and nothing will be there to save you...

but your pride.