If Nothing Else, Remember to Order the Nachos

When I was 21, I was a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed college graduate ready to fulfill my dream of living in New York City. I had all the verve and courage to follow through and move to a city without a job or friends or really any idea of what I was doing. It has been the highlight of my life so far and five years later I can't help but miss that girl. I'm finding it a struggle to move forward, to understand that I can't, won't be as carefree as I once was. If that was the peak of my life, is it all downhill from here?

Since then siblings have gotten married, friends have had babies, people have graduated and still the main event of my life is something that occurred five years ago. Yet, at the same time I am enjoying the moment. Life being such a surprise that one week you can have your heart broken and the very next it's beating stronger than ever. Reaching a point where perspective makes you see that one mistake, one embarrassment doesn't make or break you. Enjoying the excitement of the unknown and rolling with the punches of everything else. So maybe getting older is making me get a tad sentimental but I feel I should dispense a little of what I've learned in the past 25 years.

I've learned that you have to make your own rules. That these rules can change, be ignored or enforced as needed. That no one can tell you that you're playing the game, any game, right or wrong because you're the captain, not them.

I've learned to follow your heart but use your head and that in the middle of the two is your gut and that is usually the best thing to listen to.

I've learned drama is better seen and not lived. Though it may seem exciting in the moment, it's not worth the energy dispensed and if walking away makes it easier then that's exactly what needs to be done.

I've learned that if you are lucky, your friends are your family and family are your friends.

I've learned that hearts can be healed, not with time or understanding or lamenting over what is lost. Hearts are healed by letting the good grow over the bad but understanding it's just as much the bad that got you here as it is the good.

I've learned that you should dance like absolutely everyone is watching and love like you have been hurt because there's no point in pretending.

I've learned to learn from your mistakes but don't sweat it if the very same thing happens again. And again.

I've learned apologies come in all forms and some forms are just unacceptable and therefore do not have to be accepted. Sorry gets redundant if that's the only thing you ever hear.

I've learned when in doubt order the nachos.

I've learned to be true to yourself, never settle for what you know is mediocre, don't change your mind to follow the herd, you're all out in the same pasture anyway.

I've learned that singing in the car is better if someone catches you doing it.

I've learned that some people love to be chased but not all of them necessarily want to be caught.

I've learned that no matter what anyone says, what they think you should do, believe or feel in your life, it's ultimately up to you, you just have to do it your own way.

I've learned you'll get over it.

And finally, I've learned that just when you think that it's all over, life will surprise you, so stay where you are so you don't miss a single moment.