Every six months or so a huge raincloud rolls in and sets up camp right over my head. I don't know what kind of natural disaster or part of chaos theory can be attributed to this happening but it does. And every time it does, I whine, why me...again. The old saying goes, 'when it rains it pours' which seemed like a very old, useless proverb that meant nothing to me but now means, you will not feel a few droplets of shit on your head you will be submerged in it.
Sorry for the visual.
Bad days usually begin in the most innocent of ways. You get a flat tire. You spill coffee on your shirt. Someone cuts you off in traffic. Soon though this turns into your car not starting, your computer dying and tripping in the parking lot so that the coffee that splashes onto your outfit gets dotted with the gravel that you are currently laying in. This is a bad day. How do you get over something like this? It's not like a hangover that you can sleep off and miraculously see the world with clear vision again the next day. No, there are usually bigger things at the root of the problem(s) that have caused such disaster to wreck havoc on your daily life. Most of the time the problems stem from money, work, or relationships or if you are very lucky a combination of the three. It's times like this that I wish to become a hermit. I don't want to hear how things will turn around, how hard times build character or how things could be worse. Because things have not yet turned around, fuck character and thank you very much for saying how things can be worse because now I'm paranoid that those "worse" things are going to happen.
I don't like assuming the Eeyore persona and have yet to figure out why all bad things must happen at the exact same time, why I can't tackle one problem at a time and then it would seem more bearable and less like something that might push me to the point of an anxiety attack. Or better yet, could I have the answers to my problems revealed to me in a dream or perhaps on a winning lottery ticket? I dare to dream as this sort of thing just does not happen to people to like me.
People like me wake up and look in the mirror willing today to be the day that doesn't completely suck. Pep talking myself as I realize that it's about the thirteenth day in a row that I've worn my hair in a ponytail. I see that there is a small hole in my shirt and my pants are wrinkled but I don't have time nor do I want to change my outfit. But then I make it to work with a full cup of coffee. My car maintains four aired-up tires. I don't trip. I am hesitant to let any sunshine peek through my raincloud so I don't look into these small occurrences as a promise of the inevitable turnaround. But slowly there does seem to be some answers to my problems and the big, obvious realization that life isn't perfect, something I already knew and have had to learn over and over again, is staring me in the face. The perspective shifts slightly and I'm out from under that raincloud, I figure you can only control so much and everything else will have to work itself out.
Life sucks. Shit happens. Get over it.
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