Let the Games Begin

Giving your number to a guy isn't as exciting as it once was for various reasons. One of those reasons being that technology has advanced and now a guy can just give you his cell phone, have you put your number in it, and then immediately call you to verify that you haven't given a fake number. Also, sometimes giving a number to a guy is like giving a bone to a whining dog. You want the whining to stop or for them to wag their tail elsewhere, so you give the number as a sort of surrender. Probably the most disturbing reason for the dwindling excitement is because they use your number sporadically. By sporadically I mean they call you once right away and then you don't hear from them until weeks later. The span between calls is so long that you forget why you were interested in them in the first place and in some extreme cases, you forget their name.

I have consulted a few sources and have been advised that this rudeness is due to a guy 'laying the groundwork' but being unable, for whatever reason, to close the deal. So this should be a problem of theirs, not ours, right? Should be, but isn't. Because it's our nature to respond when really we should ignore our phones and ignore the curiousity that inevitably may not kill the cat but, will kill our spirit. The thing is that most of the time we realize that the problem is them, 'them' being guys that can't figure out what they want and decide to merry-go-round us with their lameness, but we allow it. We don't want to take ourselves out of the game too soon.

One of my favorite movies has one of the main characters talking about dating as forced intimacy and how even if you're not initially interested in someone, you could become interested, especially if that person becomes disinterested. With this kind of confusion, how are we supposed to know that when a guy says, "Do you want to go to a baseball game Thursday?" this may not mean that you will be going to a game, much less going anywhere at all. And in typical fashion when this temporary boy amnesia is followed up three days later with his lame, "How's life?" text, this just makes you roll your eyes and think for the love, don't text me now, you pathetic loser. But most of the time it's not the guy that has to make the excuse of why he flaked because we are running scenarios through our minds with all (improbable) possibilites of why he didn't follow up. He broke his arm. He lost his phone. He thought you knew he meant next Thursday. All excuses which can be filed under: bullshit.

This push and pull from guys is exhausting and unnecessary. They, as I've said before, complicate very simple situations. It's easy. If you like a girl, call her, ask her out and go out. That's it. Three simple steps and yet many seem to get tripped up on step one. Why lay the groundwork for something you have no intention of building upon? If you are a fan of the flirtatious banter that leads up to the inital date, hook-up, whatever you want this relationship to be, you need to have the goods to back it up. Otherwise, leave it alone.

In the meantime, if the guy is wanting to make it a game, I think it's time they work a little harder. Because anyone can get a number, anyone can call once. So I've decided, say your name is Travis and you call me once, I will save your number in my phone as 'Travis (OUT)'. This will change to 'Travis (IN)' once something resembling effort is involved. Until then I'm not answering the phone. I'm not responding to the rhetorical 'what's up' text. You don't need to know what's up. You need to know how to do something else then lay the groundwork and actually just do work.

Better roll up the sleeves. The game is just starting.